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#2 sexiest “under the radar” job… January 7, 2009

Posted by irish.lemon in biographical, starbucks.
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generally, i don’t read the strange little blurbs on msn careers that pops up everday when i check my hotmail account, but the prospect of finding out what the “10 sexiest careers you never thought of” was irresistible…in other words, i had nothing better to do.  so i opened it and saw the #2 sexiest career…barista..?!

2. Baristas
If you’re one of those coffee drinkers who don’t speak to anyone and whom nobody wants to speak to until you’ve had your morning cup, is any occupation more attractive than barista? Before the sun rises, baristas are hard at work and ready to serve you with a smile. They understand your special ordering language and don a uniform, even if it consists of only casual clothes with an apron and cap. And no cologne or perfume they buy will ever be more alluring than the aroma of coffee that blankets them even after they leave work.

now, i appreciate the alleged sex-appeal my job apparently exudes, however, i think the sexual tension is a bit of a mix-up with the numbing anticipation of getting a fix.  being sandwiched between administrative assistants and hairstylists and two rungs above DJs is incredibly flattering as unglamorous as the coffee-slinging biz is.

save the yuppies..! July 30, 2008

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i’m sorry, but i find this not only delusional, but embarassing…just had to share:

SaveOurStarbucks.com

the 11th starbucks patron rule… July 8, 2008

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after an incident this morning, i’m officially adding an 11th rule to my list of guidelines to be a good starbucks patron…

rule 11: you are not allowed to order two venti drips and then storm out yelling “then i guess i’m going to dunkin’ donuts!” when i ask you politely if you mind waiting a few minutes for a fresh batch to brew. by all means, go enjoy your stale coffee. and for the record, i don’t care one iota if you go to dunkin’ donuts instead…i drink mcdonald’s iced coffee myself. we have this civil liberty called choice…

just one more reason why i can’t stand the majority of baby boomers…spoiled brats.

also…i stumbled upon the most wonderful thing ever…there’s nothing better than a little starbucks gossip. just thought i’d share more from a partner’s point of view.

starbucks closes 600 stores… July 2, 2008

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alright, now that my first class is over, i’ve got a few cents to put in about this from an employee’s point of view…because if i get asked one more time about the store closings and whether or not my store is one that’s closing, i’m going to chuck a bottle of vanilla syrup at someone’s head.

in all honesty, i see the store closings as a good move by starbucks. i have a few theories that i’ve been playing with to rationalize that claim. consider chicago for instance…there are literally at least twelve starbucks stores within a four [city] block radius. you physically cannot pass a corner without seeing a starbucks from at least one angle. yes, it’s convenient for the consumer to have multiple storefronts within almost literally ten feet from each other, however this practice causes “cannibalizing”. the term “cannibalizing” is relatively self-explanatory here if you consider it from a retailer’s point of view. having so many stores in such close vicinity causes them to compete with each other…inter-corporate competition – at least from a fiscal point of view – is extremely unhealthy.

to set the record straight about why stores are closing is the simple fact that market-saturating stores are not meeting their sales goal of approximately $2500 a day. i’m not sure of the exact number for these 600 stores – as i don’t think i realistically should unless i worked in accounting for corporate – but when you think about it, 600 stores only account for about 7% of starbucks’ total US market.

now, i’m not saying a few thousand baristas losing their jobs is a good thing. if my store was one that was closing, i’d be a bit nervous myself, especially with the current job market…or lack thereof. but i have an explanation for this.

let’s do a little math…let’s say you have approximately 20 employees per [closing] store. so when everything is said and done, you have approximately 1200 displaced partners. now let’s say half of those partners completely leave the company and the other half stay to be relocated to other stores within their region. so we still have 600 partners…now, let’s assume 300 of those 600 partners are shifts/store mgrs/regional mgrs/etc. generally, those managers move from store to store on a usual basis. therefore, you have most of your management tranferring to other stores to continue working. the same – theoretically – would go for the 300 baristas as well. and here’s the kicker…roughly 200 or so new stores are set to open for the 2009 fiscal year – presumably within the same region. so, in essence, everyone’s worrying – or cheering – over a relatively small issue.

there’s a good possibility that i’m being left in the dark about further details, but that wouldn’t surprise me. PR-wise, i’m not sure how positive this will be for the company. there will always be the nay-sayers, but howard schultz seems to be admitting guilt on behalf of the company…that makes me nervous.

and as a disclaimer – because i’m sure i’ll get flak from someone – these are my personal thoughts and opinions which in no way directly reflect those of starbucks. although i presumed that was generally implied…

dear starbucks patrons… June 18, 2008

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greetings from your friendly neighborhood barista. this is a mental list i’ve compiled over the past six months through quiet observations of ultimately being your personal public servant. let’s get right down to the hall of shamers since no one cares about genuinely good people these days. i’ve broken this list down into a set of rules that i think we can all agree to live by from now on…these are all situations with which i have had to deal with with no exaggerations, i assure you:

rule 1: – you are not allowed to complain that it’s early at 8am…i wake up at 3am to be at work at 4am and serve the public coffee long before i’m allowed to have my own.

rule 2: – you are not allowed to complain when your sixteen pump, extra hot, white mocha in a grande cup isn’t HOT ENOUGH! especially when i advised that it be poured into a venti cup for volumetric reasons and you declined. it’s not my fault that you have no concept of elementary science. if there’s the equivalent of a shot [glass] of steamed milk in a 16 oz cup filled at least 12 oz of the way with thick white mocha syrup, there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell the milk or espresso will melt the syrup UNLESS it’s poured into a larger cup of say, oh…20 oz.

rule 3: – you are not allowed to complain that we don’t have a drive-thru…i’ve noticed.

rule 4: – you are not allowed to complain about “wait time” when you’re the third person in line…waiting for two DECAF coffees. i could readily sympathize with your plight if you were stuck seven or eight bodies deep and our brewers, bars, and oven fell to pieces and we had to stomp on the beans like grapes to their unique consistencies and boil water over an open flame to provide your coffee. with all undue respect, waiting for three minutes in line for coffee won’t kill you…i promise.

rule 5: – you are not allowed to change your order at the bar when you’ve already given my cashier a hard time about your unnecessarily complex drink order that you can barely remember yourself…

rule 6: – you are not allowed to tell me that this is your “monthly treat” as i have no sympathy for your almost complete lack of will power and possible addiction to hot milk and syrup topped with whip cream. it’s coffee…not a life choice.

rule 7: – you are not allowed to ask me to put seven sweet & lows in your misto…that’s just disgusting.

rule 8: – you are not allowed to talk on your cell phone while placing your order, especially when the person on the other line has no clue what they want and four more people are ready and waiting behind you. you are equally not allowed to hand me your cell phone to talk to the indecisive disembodied voice on the other line to figure out what they want…

rule 9: – you are not allowed to complain about the mess i’m making while working at the bar with fifteen hot drinks and eight or nine cold drinks in my line. it’s milk and coffee…it’s not as if i dropped a nuclear reactor or spilled some oil on a helpless penguin. if you would like to wait longer, i’ll spit-shine the bar area for you after each drink i finish.

rule 10: – you are not allowed to assume i’m so far below you in society because i work at starbucks. to the “moms of the year” specifically, don’t take your poor life decisions out on me. while you decided to marry the rich old guy, becoming a brood mare that’s unfulfilled staying home with your litter while i work obscene hours of the morning, go to school to complete my bachelor’s with the intention of getting my master’s immediately after, work an internship, and somehow find the opportunity to drink and get laid in my limited free time isn’t my problem…

to all my customers who have the ability to brighten my day after encountering individuals like the ones listed above, thank you! truthfully, i enjoy seeing all of you and i hope that i’ve done all i can to make your experience worthwhile and brighten your day a little bit as well.

the moral of the story is just be kind to your fellow human being. i don’t storm into your job whatever it may be and attempt to tear you down bit by bit. sure it’s a less-desirable job, but it’s a means to an end…i gotta pay for gas and pay my bills and tuition too…